Friday, December 15, 2006

scum

Do I ever feel like scum. I got the following e-mail in my inbox today and I feel like some of that toilet overflow I wrote about earlier!

Quote:"I have been following your saga now for a few years, but I would like to say a few things to you. I hope you don't take it the wrong way but I really think for both you and Bonnie's sake some one should say it to you.
You are a very negative person and everything seems to be someone else's fault and not your own. every job you had starts out really good then you just dont' like it for one reason or another.
snip
I really think you have to start taking responsiblity for your attitude and for how you feel.
It will affect Bonnie and it appears to already have. How you feel about others and yourself no matter what you say and do will show through. You are not satisfied with any job or place you live.
I move a lot in my job and I learned early on that if I think I don't like a place I don't if I think that I will find soemthing great about it I will. i know think of it as an adventure and really find something great about every place so when I leave we really miss that something. At one time when you were heading back to Japan you said it felt like going home, until you got there then it wasn't good enough. I see a pattern here and you really need to break it or you may break Bonnie, do you want her like you are? Go get help and don't think they can't help you or they don't know something and you don't have a problem and it is just everyone else.
You really need to take responsiblity for your actions and your FEELINGS, don't keep complaining about your boss, your work, where you live that only makes things worse. Find something positive and forget the rest.
If you move back to the States in 2 months you will be unhappy with that and complaining about no job or the job you have, no money and why not.
Remember kids are very perceptive I think Bonnie knows you are not happy with most things. Make yourself happy and if you can't find some help to help you."
End of Quote

This has weighed me down all day. Is it true? It rings true -- kind of. Did I need to be told in this way? Maybe. If you are my friend, please tell me what you think.

Karyn