Et tu, Brute?

If you're not into Shakespeare, you might not want to read this one. My 8th grade English students are currently reading Caesar and one way I'm getting them to understand it is by having them rewrite it in their own slang. Some of what they write just cracks me up! I had to share it. This is why I LOVE teaching. When I first met these jokers in August, I never expected something this clever out of them. Working on this Caesar project is EXACTLY why I love teaching.

Here's a small excerpt from Act 1, Scene 2. Cassius (the guy who came up with the idea to assassinate Caesar because he is becoming too power hungry) approaches Brutus (Caesar's best friend) to get a sense of whether or not he might convince Brutus to join his side. In the distance, the people are shouting as Caesasr is offered the crown and turns it down.

Cassius: What’s up dude? You’re like, not here.
Brutus: I’m sick. Just ignore me.
Cassius: I feel your pain dude. Don’t fret it. You’re cool.

Sound of shouting

Brutus: Why the shouting? Did the peeps choose Caesar as king? (note: "peeps" means "people"
Cassius: (in a mocking tone)Why, are you scared?
Brutus: No, should I be?
Cassius: Darn straight. Caesar’s not my daddy. I had his back in a shootout once and he got capped. But I saved him and now he thinks I’m dirt.

Sound of shouting

Brutus: Those fools are shouting again? Can’t they get enough?
Cassius: He’s not our president. Let’s pull a JFK. That stupid fly. We should pull up to that bumper and smack that monkey.
Brutus: If you don’t pay me no respect, I don’t care, fool. I’d rather be back on the west side than thrust into this political stuff.
Cassius: You feelin’ me, dog, but I know you want some of this.
Brutus: The games are through.
Cassius: Yo, when they come this way, dawg, grab my G, Cinna, he’ll tell us what the big brother been doing. Note: "G" means "friend"

Caesar and Antony enter and stay on the other side of the stage.

Brutus: (whispers to Cassius) I feel ya. What’s wrong with my friend Caesar? He looks a cracka. "cracka" is "white cracker" and it means "pale"
Cassius: See what the matta be.

Caesar to Antonia: Antonia. Note:Antony is being played by a girl in our production

Antony: Sir?
Caesar: Can we trust Cassius? He looks hungry for power.
Antony: He won’t betray us.
Caesar: We aren’t the best of mates. He might, oh, how do the commoners say it – “cramp my style”. What do you think?
Antony: “He ain’t trippin,” as the commoners say.

And here's the scene where the conspirators come to Brutus' house in the middle of the night:

Cassius: Why you trippin’ Brutus?
Brutus: I’ve been awake all night. Who’re these fools?
Cassius: These fools wanna put caps in Caesar. You know our brutha, Casca.
Brutus: Wazzup?
Cassius: And our brutha from another mutha, Cinna.
Brutus: Come in. What’s happening?
Cinna: Group hug!
Casssius: Westside!