Thursday, March 30, 2006

Imagine Me

This morning I went to meet with a friend of mine at church. He is one of the ministers and I guess he is supposed to be helping me get a grip on my life. While we were talking, I mentioned to him a song I ran into recently by Kirk Franklin called "Imagine Me." I was trying to tell him what it was all about when he jumped on his computer and pulled up the lyrics on the internet. "Do you mean this one?" he asked as he started reading:

Thank you for allowing me to see myself the way you see me . . .

Imagine me
loving what I see when the
mirror looks at me cuz I
I imagine me


"Yes, that's the one," I answered. As he continued reading, I began to cry.

In a place
of no insecurities And
I'm finally happy cuz
I imagine me

Letting go
of all of the ones who hurt me

cuz they never did deserve me
can you imagine me ?
Saying no to thoughts that try to control me
Remembering all you told me,

Lord can you imagine me ?

Being a man of action, my friend promptly downloaded the song (legally!) and it started to boom out of the speakers in his office, filling the room:

over what ma mamma said
And healed from what my daddy did And
I wanna live and not read that page again

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally
finally I can...

Imagine me
I admit it was hard to see
You being in love with someone like me
but finally I can...

Imagine me

I closed my eyes and let the music wash over me like a gentle waterfall, splashing over my hair, falling down my shoulders, filling the room.

Being strong
And not letting people break me down
you won't get that joy this time around
can you imagine me?

In a world where nobody has to live afraid
Because of your love fear's gone away
Can you imagine me?

I think of heaven. No fear. No pain. No crying. No sickness. No hurt. NO PAST!

Letting go of my past
And glad I have another chance And
my heart will dance

Cause I don't have to read that page again

Imagine me, being free, trusting you totally

finally I can...
Imagine me

I admit it was hard to see

You being in love with someone like me but

finally I can...
Imagine me

I imagine me being free. Ill be honest with you, it was hard.

Spoken:

This song is dedicated to people like me -- always they struggle with insecurities, acceptance and even self esteem. You never felt good enough, you never felt pretty enough. But imagine God whispering in your ear letting you know that everything that has happened is now gone. It's all gone. Every sin, every mistake, every failure, it's all gone. Depression, it's al gone. By faith, it's gone. Low self esteem, allelujia it's gone, all gone. All my scars, all my pain, it's in the past. It's yesterday it's all gone. God, No! What your mother did, what your faither did. Hallelujia. It's gone.

Gone, gone, it's gone, all gone

My friend and I talked about a lot of other stuff today, but what will stay in my mind forever is that moment, that song playing, knowing that he feels so many of the same things I do and knowing that the music was washing over him as it was washing over me. The tears rolling down my face as I listened to something I know is only a fingertip away from me -- the place where it is all gone. The ability not to read that page again. To tear it out, crumple it up and fling it into the fire. God sees us there already and when I hear that song, for a moment, I see myself there, too. It HAS to be possible. It's the only thing I have left to hope for.

Kaycee

2 comments:

Anonymous said...

So...I'll make the first comment. Wow, what a POWRFUL SONG! I've shared it w/ so many people...thanks for your ministry to ME and to many others you don't know. ;)

KayCee said...

I've shared it with a few people, too and it had the same effect. You have to suffer a lot of pain to write something like that. See my next blog entry on Imagine Me 2

KayCee